Love languages are a hot topic these days. Not just in romantic relationships but at home and in the workplace, too. Do you know what your love language is? Let’s start with the basics.
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” love languages are defined as how we best receive love from others. As mentioned in the title of his book, Dr. Chapman believes that there are five ways in which individuals feel most loved and appreciated. The five different love languages are as follows; Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. Let’s get a little deeper into them!
Words of Affirmation
Put simply, this love language is defined as verbal compliments, or words/phrases that build up your partner. These words/phrases don’t have to be complicated; they just have to be from the heart. Examples would be:
“That joke you told was really funny!”
“Your beard looks nice!”
“Dinner was delicious tonight, honey!”
“I love you.”
“Wow, you look incredible!”
Hint- with this love language, you can NEVER say I love you too often!
Keep in mind, if your partner has this love language, words are very important to them. This means that negative words/phrases can be quite hurtful to them. Choose your words wisely!
Acts of Service
Have you ever heard the motto actions speak louder than words? This describes the acts of service love language perfectly! If your partner’s love language is acts of service, they feel most loved when you are doing something you know they would like or would make their life easier. Again, these acts of service do not need to be complicated, but sometimes they do require extra effort. For example:
Cleaning Up Dinner.
Vacuuming the House.
Putting the Laundry Away.
Hint- You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?
Keep in mind, these things lose their meaning if your partner has to ask you to do them. All acts of service should be done with the thought that you are going to make your partner happy.
This love language doesn’t have to be materialistic. It just means that your partner feels loved when he/she receives a thoughtful gift. The gifts do not have to be expensive, but they are typically a surprise/out of the blue, just to show you were thinking of your partner. For example:
Your partner picks up your favorite ice cream from the store.
Surprises you with a Starbucks after a long day.
Brings you your favorite flowers just because.
Sends you a surprise package at work.
Makes you a playlist of your favorite songs.
Hint- Even something small and unexpected can show how much you love someone!
Keep in mind, if your partner has this love language, surprises mean a lot to them!
This love language is all about spending time with your partner. If this is your partner’s love language, they feel most loved when they are with you, and only you. Examples would be:
Cooking a meal together.
Watching a movie together.
Going on a walk together.
Plan a romantic picnic together- without phones!
Hint- With this love language, the most important thing is one-on-one time!
Keep in mind, if your partner has this as their love language, it can be very hurtful if you cancel/postpone plans with them. They could take it as you value something else more than them, or don’t want to be with them.
This love language is pretty self-explanatory. Your partner feels love and value by expressing physical touch. Simple examples are:
PDA- sometimes 😉
Hint- Sometimes all it takes is a hug and a kiss!
If this is your partner’s love language, keep in mind that if you aren’t showing them a lot of physical attention, they may begin to feel insecure/unloved.
My love language is acts of service and my husband’s is quality time. Once we took the quiz and found what our love languages were, we were better able to understand what is important to each other/how to make one another feel more loved. Keep in mind, you will not score 100% in one language. Your highest score is likely the one you identify with the most, but that doesn’t mean you also don’t value the others.
Don’t know what your love language is? Take the quiz today!
For more information on the 5 love languages, you can get Dr. Chapman’s book here
What is your love language? Is it different from your partner’s?